Your love never fails, it never gives up

I just want to say thank you so much for all the support, love and encouragement. Having everyone take time out of their day to read my little blog and send messages, meant the absolute world to me.

When I was pregnant with Fenix, I prayed like I had never prayed before, for a healthy baby. That is all I wanted. Well God answered our prayers indeed! Fenix was most definitely healthy and was a whopping 20 pounds at 6 months. He was the happiest baby ever and our first year with him was utter bliss. I was on cloud nine with this amazing and precious gift. I also fell in love with my husband in a way that I never thought possible. The man of my dreams and a beautiful baby boy, our life was perfect. 

About 2 weeks after his diagnosis, I decided enough is enough. I allowed myself to go through these feelings instead of bottling them up and pretending they weren't there. That would not have been the healthy choice. Quite a few verses spoke to me and this one just resonated deep within my soul, 

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am YOUR God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10. 

It took a few months of lots and lots of prayer before I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. When you are told your son has autism and that they don't know what his future will be like, devastating doesn't even begin to describe that. At first, it seemed like we were about to climb a mountain and we were unsure of how or even where to start.

But, we had HOPE.
Hope in the form of our God and His plan.

Although we had no clue what we were doing yet, we had faith that our God made our son in His image.

Psalm 139:14 says, 

" I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." 

There is so much comfort and freedom with that knowledge. 

I wanted to start this blog from the beginning. It took a lot of pain and tears to get to where we are today. But through it all, God never left our side. He was there all along, carrying us when we were too weak. 

This is one of my favorite worships songs. I played it over and over as I cried and prayed from the depths of my soul. Through my son's diagnosis it brought me closer to God and taught me to lean on Him and to let go and let God. 

You call me out upon the waters 

The great unknown where feet may fail 

And there I find You in the mystery 

In oceans deep

 My faith will stand 

And I will call upon Your name 

And keep my eyes above the waves 

When oceans rise 

My soul will rest in Your embrace 

For I am YOURS and You are mine 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters 

Your sovereign hand 

Will be my guide 

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me 

You've never failed and 

You won't START NOW 

So I will call upon Your name 

And keep my eyes above the waves 

When oceans rise 

My soul will rest in Your embrace 

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders 

Let me walk upon the waters 

Wherever You would call me 

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander 

And my faith will be made stronger 

In the presence of my Savior 

Oh, Jesus, you're my God! 

I will call upon Your name 

Keep my eyes above the waves 

My soul will rest in Your embrace 

I am Yours and You are mine

Thank you again, to every one that reached out and has supported us. 

I love you all.